Hello! This one goes out to all of the haters… THANKS! I see you and I hear you, but I don’t care about what you say. Who are you to judge? Here, take my brain for a day and I will gladly watch you crumble! Your words, fears, concerns, vitriol, or whatever bring me no pause. I will not stop. I am called to share my experiences and advocate for those within the OCD community. I will be a voice! Sadly, not too long ago, people were institutionalized for having severe OCD because of fear and because of the ignorance of PEOPLE LIKE YOU. Thankfully, so many wonderful professionals have made strides in combatting this often misunderstood disorder. It’s for them that I share. I share for those who have been misunderstood, mistreated, and cast aside. I share because I can, it’s that simple! Professionals can normalize this information and try to educate all day, but for a sufferer to lay bare the brutalities their brain bombards them with… true power and change can come from that type of honesty! That’s me! My haunts will be a harness for help, and not a harbinger for hate. Look, for the most part, I have received an overwhelming amount of positive feedback, which isn’t why I’m doing this, but it is nice when it comes. On the other hand, I have received quite the copious amounts of hate as well. Am I shocked? Not really, but it does give me some insight with regards to how to move forward. Really!? How!? Easy, more blunt honesty! You see, REAL OCD is not what the media portrays, nor is it what most people think; that’s why this space was created! What was the hate over? The majority of the hate was over my Thanksgiving post:
If you haven’t read it, you should! Aaaaaand, if you have read it, you should read it again and share it! (I conveniently made a link to it above.)
Was it disturbing? Absolutely! Was anyone ever in danger? Nope, but I thought they might be. Wait, might be!? Yeah, I know, not very comforting, buuuuut nothing is ever Ever EVER for certain. However, what’s the best indicator of how someone is going to behave or what they might do in the future? Their previous behaviors and actions… not their thoughts. We are all creatures of our conditioning and less creatures of our thoughts. Please, think yourself a millionaire right now and show me how your thinking about being a millionaire made it happen… it won’t, you’re actions might, but your thoughts won’t as much as you want to believe they will. Look, the odds are that if I never got any help then I would have been doing more and More and MORE compulsions, I would have been more and More and MORE isolated, I would have had less and Less and LESS time, and no one would have been in any danger! How could they? I wouldn’t have any time because I would have been too busy saving my loved ones with my compulsions; wasting time. My past behaviors would have dictated my future behaviors. Duh!
You see, the behavior is what must be changed and NOT THE THOUGHT. Writing and reading worse case scenarios (like the Thanksgiving post I shared) can greatly help to change the behavior. How? Writing it and reading it invokes the terrible thought. Out of fear I feel overwhelmingly compelled to relieve the anxiety because I am afraid the thought could possibly be a premonition, buuuut I don’t do the compulsion! I. Just. Sit. In. The. Anxiety. I embrace the distress and do nothing to relieve it, and I come down from the agony of the anxiety naturally. It’s just a false alarm. It will pass. That’s all it is. Nothing more. No one is in danger. The thoughts are bullshit! They are thoughts and they don’t matter. What matters is my value driven actions, what matters is my character, what matters are so many more things than my thoughts. Change the behavior, not the thought!
OCD and mental health is a very complicated subject, and my mission is to expose Exposure Response and Prevention therapy (ERP)… I want to give examples from my own intense experiences because I know how hard it is, but I also know how well it works when you decide to take the leap of faith. So, to all of my haters, I plan on releasing a very disturbing worst case scenario every Wednesday in 2019… I call it Worst Case Scenario Wednesday!
You ready? I am! Let’s dive down this rabbit hole together, I know it very well. Hahaha… You know my main subtype is harm, right!? Just remember, above all else that by judging others you do not define them, but you define yourself. Bring it!
“Be curious, not judgmental.”
– Walt Whitman