WCS — Nothing Is Ever Right


Disclaimer: Herein lies extreme themes that can be triggering and/or upsetting to some, please proceed with caution; you have been warned.

Function: Worst Case Scenarios (WCS) are designed to directly target an obsession and attack it by catastrophizing the fear to the extreme by entering the pit of despair. This works by isolating the obsession and making it devolve dramatically without imbedding reassurances.

Source: The “fear of acting out” is very real and these imaginal exposures can be extremely effective; to learn more from a great source explaining why, click here!

Exposure: Read this to yourself and imagine it is you, immerse yourself in the catastrophe. Do not reassure yourself! Do not seek relief! Allow your fear and anxiety to fill to the brim… do not respond; however, do your best to observe objectively. Feel the feels and ride the wave. This is you! This… is your worst case scenario!

First it was the front door being locked when I wanted it to be unlocked, then it was the number of times I had to wash my hair before it felt like it was clean… sometimes it was once, sometimes it was five times, sometimes it was three times, sometimes I simply lost count and had to do it again because the number itself felt wrong… then it was my shirt, then it was the color red, then it was the way the dishes needed to be stacked, then it was the order of things I needed to do before I had to get out the door, then it was the routine I had to do before I went to bed, then it was the routine I had to do before hanging with my friends, then it was cleaning my thoughts… cleaning, cleaning, cleaning… but sometimes it was NOTHING! This is madness I tell you! Why do I do this? To protect myself from chaos. To protect my loved ones from chaos. To protect the world from chaos. Fuck it, I’m just not going to do it anymore. So… I stopped. Now I’ve lost my self. I was fired from my job. I couldn’t find a new job because I lost all respect and references from my last job. I got evicted from my house. I am drowning in debt. No one takes me seriously and I am just an embarrassment… I am humiliated. I should never have stopped my routines. I should never have stopped looking for that “just right” feeling, but I did and now my life is in chaos. I started to drink to cope with everything I lost. Fuck it! Does it even matter? Then just one innocent bump of coke from a local off the back of a toilet… the next thing I know I’m sucking cock because I’m out of money and just need to make the numbness go away… what drugs do you have? Heroin? Fuck it! Why not? The “just not” right feeling has now devolved into getting higher and higher… I don’t even know where I live anymore… I don’t even know if my parents know where I live… they don’t care anyways. It’s hard to catch a dick for drugs when your strung the fuck out! I’ll do whatever I have to… This guy approaches my ragged ass and says he’ll give me money if I break into a home and kill his wife… fuck it, what do I care. I do it because I need the money. I do it because I am an agent of chaos. I do it because I have become pure evil. I do it because I abandoned my ritual and my true monster has come to be. I do it because killing someone seems better than sucking another dick.

I get to the address. BOOM! Floodlights come on. Fuck! I stumble and fall on my ass. It takes me FOREVER to get back up… how the fuck am I gonna kill someone… I am pathetic and weak and strung the fuck out on drugs. I proceed anyways. I walk into the house. Silence. I find the kitchen and grab a long chefs knife from the kitchen… now to find this bitches room. I walk into the room and I am JUMPED! It’s a trap. This fucker wasn’t married! He just wanted to lure some sad motherfucker into is home for him and his buddies to brutalize. Smart. No one will miss me. No one will care. The beat me senseless until I can’t move any more and sodomize me with a glass bottle until it breaks in my ass. Blood. Pain. I can’t even scream because I’m shaking. Laughing. Darkness… I die to the sounds of their laughter and them pissing and spitting on me… I don’t know where they put my body… doesn’t matter anyways because no one will come looking for me… I was dead and gone a long time ago to anyone that ever matter… I have finally succumb to the chaos that I brought on myself. My death was meaningless, as was my life!

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